Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Paul Heyman Remembers Lou Albano: Crazy Road Stories

Paul Heyman Remembers Lou Albano: Crazy Road Stories

The folks at the Heyman Hustle sent out the following this morning:

PAUL HEYMAN BLOGS ABOUT THE DEATH OF CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO
…and offers some never-before-told stories!

Long before he was the owner of ECW; even before he was known as “Paul E. Dangerously”; Paul Heyman was a teenage photographer who was given all access passes to Madison Square Garden. One of the people Paul came to know during this time was the legendary pro wrestling manager Captain Lou Albano. In a blog posted exclusively on The Heyman Hustle website, Paul offers some wild road stories about the Captain that have never been told (at least publicly) before.

Key excerpt:

There are so many “Albano” stories to tell, from the time he ran in his shorts and flip flops up 8th Avenue in New York City when his car broke down during a snow storm, and had hundreds of people following him to what was then known as The Howard Johnson’s Hotel where everyone stayed; to the time he got into a drinking contest with Andre The Giant at the hotel bar, took a Ric Flair-esque face bump into the top of a stool, cracked his head, and was knocked out cold … only to wake up when Don Muraco and Greg Valentine helped peel Lou off the floor. Lou ran outside, threw up all over the sidewalk (with half the remnants of his dinner prominently remaining on his hairy chest), came back inside, ordered another 3 rounds, turned to Andre and said “I get a 3 drink handicap for that bump!”

As a 15 year old who bullsh****d his way into getting All Access Photographer Passes for Madison Square Garden, I ran the fan clubs for all 3 Wise Men of the East. During the summertime, I would sometimes go to Allentown and Hamburg, and cover the WWWF television tapings. One time, I ended up catching a ride with Albano, who was driving Blassie (which was a great idea, because Blassie was partially blind and a menace behind the wheel even with perfect eyesight).

So we got out of Madison Square Garden, and we’re flying through New Jersey heading towards Allentown. Lou reaches under his seat, and pulls out one of those big glass Tropicana grapefruit juice bottles. Of course, grapefruit juice was no longer the contents of this bottle. As a matter of fact, I can’t even tell you that Lou was drinking Vodka AND grapefruit juice. It was more like vodka with a tiny little splash of grapefruit juice. Or, as Blassie used to tease The Captain, “methane with something to give it a little bit of color.”

Now keep in mind, I’m in my mid-teens here, watching and listening to Blassie scream at Albano “you’re going to get us killed! This kid’s Father is a lawyer! He’s going to sue our widows, and take our swimming pools, you (2 minutes of expletives) maniac!”

Lou would just laugh, with both feet on the gas pedal, and hanging onto the steering wheel for dear life. All of a sudden, Lou goes into an insane coughing fit, and spits up some phlemmy-looking loogie that must have come from the deepest, darkest recesses of his digestive system. This frightening piece of intestinal backwash ends up all over the inside of the windshield, and Lou pulls a tissue out of his pocket, wipes it off the windshield … we’re still going 90 miles an hour, mind you… and proceeds to suck the loogie back down with a big mischievous smile on his face.

It only gets crazier from there.

Please feel free to offer this key excerpt to your readers. A link to the blog itself would be very much appreciated.

Here is the link to Heyman’s blog on Albano: http://heymanhustle.craveonline.com/articles/news/22266-rip-captain-lou

The story also includes a rare photograph of a 15 year old Paul Heyman in the Madison Square Garden locker room with Albano, Fred Blassie, and The Grand Wizard aka “The 3 Wise Men of the East.”

One Response to “Paul Heyman Remembers Lou Albano: Crazy Road Stories”
  1. tigger says:

    omg thats hilarious!!

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