WWE has unveiled the ultimate Hulk Hogan-themed Hulkamania experience for WrestleMania 41, and it'll only cost you what some people pay in rent for half a year.
The "REAL AMERICAN EXPERIENCE" package, announced Thursday via email blast to WWE subscribers, offers die-hard Hulkamaniacs the opportunity to bask in the 24-inch pythons' glory from the comfort of a luxury suite.
For the modest sum of $9,500 (before taxes), fans can secure this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say their prayers and eat their vitamins in style.
The experience includes a 2-day WrestleMania luxury suite ticket, which means you'll be watching the Showcase of the Immortals the way nature intended – far removed from the unwashed masses in the general admission seats.
But wait, there's more! The package includes all-inclusive food and beverage service, featuring Hulk Hogan's Own Real American Beer, because nothing says "American Dream" quite like a $9,500 price tag on a meet-and-greet.
The crown jewel of this modestly priced package is, of course, a suite visit from the Hulkster himself. For roughly the price of a used car, you can share the same air as the immortal Hulk Hogan for what we can only assume will be several memorable minutes.
The package also includes access to WWE World and the Superstore. WWE is clearly betting that some fans will find this package irresistible, as evidenced by their "Be There Brother" call-to-action button.
For those wrestling fans currently checking their couch cushions for spare thousands, WWE helpfully notes that upgrades are available – because apparently, $9,500 is just the starting point for this real American dream.
So whatcha gonna do, brother, when this Hulk Hogan experience and your financial advisor's disapproval run wild on you?