WWE Extreme Rules Pre-Show
The pre-show is now officially underway, featuring our panel consisting of Josh Mathews, Alex Riley, Booker T and Sheamus. The guys run down the key matches on tonight’s show, all-the-while we hear a very loud and passionate “Yes!” chant in the background from the New Jersey fans. Video packages are shown, the guys run down matches, we check in with Renee Young in the “social media lounge,” etc. The usual pre-show stuff. The first match, which will be the “WeeLC” match between El Torito and Hornswoggle, is coming up in just a minute or so. Now we hear a pretty loud “CM Punk” chant from the fans in the IZOD Center. Sounds like we’ve got ourselves a hot crowd so far.
– El Torito vs. Hornswoggle
The pre-show panel shoots off to the announce table where Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL welcome us to the show. Seated in front of them, which Cole introduces, are a bunch of midgets doing special commentary. The ring announcer is a midget. The announcers (the normal crew) are already making a ton of puns and bad jokes. “I hope this is a short match,” etc. El Torito is introduced first and he comes out with his Los Matadores partners. The regular commentary team is interacting with the midget commentary team, and even the midget commentary team are making bad jokes. “I think that comment went over my head, King!” says one of the “little people” announcers. Now Hornswoggle is introduced and he comes out with his 3MB partners. It’s time for the very legendary, first-ever “WeeLC” match, ladies and gentlemen!
The bell rings, and our special midget referee makes this one official. Torito gets the early advantage. The regular and midget commentary team are talking back-and-forth, communicating with each other and also taking turns at calling the midget-action in the ring. They are making so many bad little-people style jokes already that it’s impossible to keep count. We already have our first mini-foreign object, as a small chair is brought into the ring.
Jinder Mahal is mixed into the action now, taking gores in the nuts, etc. The announcers make jokes about Mahal’s height, saying he’s almost short enough to be a part of this match. A mini ladder is brought into the ring. The midget throws it out of the ring. He gets another ladder, which is still small, but a tad-bit larger than the previous Hornswoggle goes to the top of the ladder and poses, giving off the impression that “I’m gonna do it fans! I’m gonna risk my life and jump off of this — two foot tall — ladder!” In all honesty, this is actually very entertaining. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect, by the way. We head to a mid-match commercial.
When we return from commercial, 3MB and Los Matadores are shown fighting in the aisle. We see some highlights of some “mini-high spots” that took place during the commercial. The announcers continue firing off bad midget-jokes as the action between the key principles continues inside the ring. Hornswoggle hits RVD’s “Rolling Thunder” move for a near fall. Hornswoggle clears off the midget announce table, which is obviously a smaller version of a regular announce table. The announcers are putting this over like the most dangerous thing ever. Horny jumps off the apron and splashes onto Torito through the table.
Following the mini-table spot, the New Jersey fans break out in a “this is awesome” chant. The action returns to the ring, where 3MB and Horny are standing around as Torito is laid out. Horny blasts him with the mini-chair. Horny goes to hit Torito, who is being held by Heath Slater on the apron, with a mini-chair, but Torito moves. This leads to Horny accidentally hitting Slater, knocking him off the apron and crashing through a couple of real-sized tables on the floor. Seconds later, another big table spot happens with Los Matadores and Torito crashing through regular sized tables on the opposite side of the floor outside the ring. About a minute later, Torito puts Horny through a table in the ring. 1-2-3. El Torito wins the first-ever “WeeLC” match. Really fun stuff.
Winner: El Torito