SEScoops’ Official Survivor Series “Pick One and Be Done!”

by The Solomonster ([email protected])
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This Sunday marks the 24th annual WWE Survivor Series from Miami, Florida. While I thought about doing another preview and predictions-style editorial, it’s not a card that has inspired much in the way of excitement. In fact, before Raw this week, we knew all of three matches on the show. It feels slapped together like most other WWE pay-per-views these days and it’s hard to believe that once upon a time, Survivor Series was considered one of the “Big Four” annual shows. That may no longer be true, but I figured it would be fun to celebrate its history by choosing one match (and only one!) from each of the last 23 shows to highlight, right here on SEScoops!

As for the criteria, I’m not necessarily picking the “best” match on each show. This is all very subjective, of course, but I’ve chosen to go with matches that stand out to me the most either because they were simply GREAT or are often unfairly overlooked for other classic matches. Let’s pick one and be done!

1987

Strike Force, Fabulous Rougeaus, Killer Bees, Young Stallions and British Bulldogs
vs.
The Islanders, Hart Foundation, Demolition, Bolsheviks and New Dream Team

These early shows were completely made up of Survivor Series elimination matches. Much like a newlywed couple, they were entirely faithful to the concept before getting bored and cheating with regular singles and tag bouts a few years later. What makes this so unique is that each team is comprised of five actual tag teams (you know, when WWE actually had more than just the Hart Dynasty and Usos), so this match is quite the monstrosity with 20 men out there. But it’s easily the best thing on the show.

1988

The Rockers, Powers of Pain, British Bulldogs, Hart Foundation and Young Stallions
vs.
Demolition, The Brain Busters, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeaus and The Conquistadors

Much like the year prior, they’ve taken ten tag teams and lumped them together into one Survivors match. And much like the year prior, it’s easily the best thing on the show. One thing that really strikes you is the sheer number of managers that WWE had in its employ at one time. In this match alone, you’ve got teams managed by Bobby Heenan (who I’m fairly certain managed 48 guys at once), Mr. Fuji, Jimmy Hart and Slick. Anyway, I had completely forgotten that The Conquistadors were called Uno and Dos, which is so incredibly awesome, how could you go wrong picking this?

1989

The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts and Demolition)
vs.
The Million $ Team (Ted DiBiase, Zeus and The Powers of Pain)

The thing I loved about these early Survivors matches was that you had team names. I mean, regular tag teams in WWE these days (the ones that are left, anyway) don’t even have real team names. This is where I’ll give TNA credit, at least they have teams like the Motor City Machine Guns and Beer Money. What was the last cool team name in WWE? Anyway, this show was full of great team names (Roddy’s Rowdies, The Enforcers, The King’s Court), but this is the match I remember vividly. They got rid of Zeus real quick here because, well, he was fairly limited in what he could do. In fact, all he really did was choke people and that’s sort of illegal. He had Hogan flat on his back about 3 minutes into this and was choking the life out of him, prompting a hilarious scene that saw referee Earl Hebner violently wrench back on Zeus’s head, trying mightily to pry him off the Hulkster to no avail. When Zeus shoved him away, that was enough for the disqualification. The rest of this was fairly standard stuff, but I always enjoyed seeing Hogan in there with DiBiase because when you really stop and think about it, we never got to see them square off much on TV. They never had a big PPV singles match together.

1990

The Million $ Team (Ted DiBiase, The Undertaker, The Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine)
vs.
The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart)

Yes, this was the show with the giant egg. But it’s also remembered for being the first appearance of The Undertaker, managed by Brother Love. He didn’t last as long as you might think in this match and was counted out after beating the blubber out of Dusty Rhodes, but he looked impressive in delivering his first Tombstone to poor Koko B. Ware. Bret Hart was the real star of the show here as he went all the way to the end with DiBiase and had the crowd buying into all of his near falls. Bret had dedicated the match to his brother Dean, who passed away just 24 hours earlier from kidney failure. Not sure if he requested off this show in light of his brother dying, but if he did, he was obviously turned down. Not to worry, Bret. You did good here. Dean would be proud.

1991

The Gravest Challenge
Hulk Hogan (c) vs. The Undertaker, WWF Championship

This is the night WWF got a rude awakening from its fans. It was obvious that Hogan was not nearly as beloved as he once was and fans were getting tired of his shtick. Undertaker received a fair share of cheers, especially at the end when he scored the three count. The match itself was horrible and largely consisted of Undertaker choking Hogan in different positions for extended periods of time (I was going to make a joke about Zeus and Undertaker forming a team called The Chokers, but the Dallas Cowboys already have that name, so I won’t do it). The best part of all this was the fan dressed as Hogan in the front row. You see, this man was a rather unlucky charm for the Hulkster as, not only did he appear here when Hogan lost his title to Undertaker, but he was also front and center when Hulk lost the title to Yokozuna at the King of the Ring in 1993 and was squashed right out of the WWF. In fact, the only lasting mental image I have of this guy is of him leaning over the guardrail with a sad look on his face like his dog was first shot, then backed over by a Jeep. I’m convinced he was hiding somewhere in the Skydome, too, when Hogan lost to The Rock at WrestleMania 18.

1992

Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, WWF Championship

I used to hate this show with a passion because it was the first time they abandoned the concept of elimination matches (well, they had one) and basically adopted the format they use today. But it has since grown on me and this match is a big reason why. In fact, it may be my favorite Bret vs. Shawn match as it had the perfect length to it (unlike the Iron Man match), a clean submission finish (unlike Montreal) and was very well worked. It was unique for two reasons: one, it was a CHAMPION vs. CHAMPION match with only Bret’s WWF Title on the line, and two, it was never supposed to be that way, let alone the MAIN EVENT of the show. I mean, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, two guys who were wrestling tag matches less than 2 years earlier, in the final match of a WWF pay-per-view? That was unheard of back then. But you see, when you start cracking down on steroids, shit happens. Bret shockingly won the title from Ric Flair about a month or so earlier because Vince wanted the belt on someone who didn’t look like a gassed up monster, and Shawn won the Intercontinental belt from the British Bulldog on “Saturday Night’s Main Event” just a few weeks before the show after Davey Boy was fired for drug-related reasons. I still remember WWF Magazine’s own preview for this show listing Bret vs. Shawn as an undercard match for no titles, while Bulldog was to defend his belt against The Mountie. Sucks to be The Mountie, but not the fans as we were treated to one hell of a main event. Plus, Bret celebrated with Santa to close the show!

1993

The Hart Family (Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Bruce Hart and Keith Hart)
vs.
Shawn Michaels and his Knights (The Red Knight, The Blue Knight and The Black Knight)

If you’re wondering why HBK would have his own team of medieval knights, allow me to explain. Jerry Lawler was to be the captain of that team as he had been feuding with Bret for months, but he went and got himself in some legal trouble. Michaels, who was still on suspension from what is believed to have been a steroid failure, was reinstated and this was his first match back. Family Feud host Ray Combs did the intros to this match and was quite annoying. It’s also marks the first and only time in his WWE career that Bret Hart wore a singlet with no pants. The match itself was very good and, most importantly, was the starting point of the Bret/Owen sibling rivalry. Leave it to Shawn Michaels to stir up shit with the Hart family.

1994

Chuck Norris. Enough said.

1995

The BodyDonnas (Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, and The 1-2-3 Kid)
vs.
The Underdogs (Marty Jannetty, Hakushi, Barry Horowitz, and Bob Holly)

I’ve always been a fan of the Wildcard Match concept used on this show, and Bret Hart certainly carried Kevin Nash to a very good main event (and a noteworthy one with Diesel’s infamous f-bomb and heel turn), but I was going to go with the all-women’s elimination bout featuring Alundra Blaze, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe and others as I remember it being a great match. However, after seeing the match again recently, that match was fucking horrible. Blown spots galore, which shocked me considering the talents involved, and many moments where the girls just looked totally lost in there. Instead, we’ll go with the opening match, or as I like to call it, Rise of the Curtain Jerkers. This was a really fun match that saw the crowd go crazy whenever Hakushi was in the ring (not nearly enough) and start up a “BARRY!” chant for Horowitz, which just goes to show that you CAN truly get anyone over if you try hard enough. I also chuckled everytime Mr. Perfect would refer to him as “Horriblewitz”. Good stuff here.

1996

Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Sycho Sid, WWF Championship

Oh Madison Square Garden, how I love thee. If you take this match and put it in any other building, I don’t think it would have HALF the heat this match had, and Shawn Michaels likely would have received a warmer welcome. But, as it was, New York hated the dancing babyface and booed him out of the building, while openly embracing the challenger. I know Bret Hart and Steve Austin had a much better match, but this is a spectacle that I never get tired of watching. HBK carries Sid to one of the best matches of his career and loses the title, ending the “Boyhood Dream” and, in my opinion, marking the unofficial start to what would become the Attitude Era. This was during the period where Michaels had Jose Lothario following him around wherever he went, so when Sid grabbed a TV camera and SMASHED Jose in the chest with it (he didn’t belong up on the apron!), that was quite the shocking moment. Jose fakes the best heart attack ever on the floor and as Michaels tends to him, Sid takes that same camera and smashes it over the back of Shawn’s head, muttering an audible “Fuck you!” not once, but twice! One powerbomb later and Sid is your champion. Take note of wrestling superfan Vladimir in the front row (where else would he be?) who looks like he could not be happier to see an old man murdered as he high-fives and hugs the new champion on his way out. If you’ve never seen this match before, it’s worth going out of your way to watch if for no other reason than to see what wrestling crowds were once like.

1997

Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, WWF Championship

I seriously had to rack my brain to remember a single match other than the main event of this show. Well, that’s not really true. I do vividly remember Kane wrestling Dude Love in the darkness with that stupid red light, but I can’t choose that match because it wasn’t particularly good. Truth is, it’s a damn shame this match ended the way it did because Hart and Michaels were well on their way to having one of the better matches the two of them have ever had together. So, we’ll go with this one because, quite frankly, I don’t think the finish of this match has been debated NEARLY enough in the last 13 years.

1998

Steve Austin vs. Mankind, Deadly Game Semi-Finals

It was the first (and only) single elimination tournament for the WWF Title since WrestleMania 4 a decade earlier. I look back fondly on the “Deadly Game” motif, including the awesome theme song, and that gigantic skull entranceway. That being said, there’s not a single match from this tournament that I would rate above 2 ½ stars, which means I’m going to have to go with Steve Austin vs. Mankind in the Semi-Finals by default. This is the match where Shane McMahon turned heel for the first time and flipped Austin the double bird after refusing to count the fall. It’s also the match where Mankind’s pants fell down around his ankles as he was Stunnered by Stone Cold. Foley would make it to the Finals before being “screwed” and Rock began his first of many runs with the gold. It’s also the only Survivor Series to this day to not feature a single, traditional elimination match. Let’s hope it stays that way.

1999

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

It’s the in-ring debut of our Olympic Hero! I can’t get over how much smaller Kurt looked in this match as compared to one of his matches, say, in 2003. Fans in Detroit have the audacity to start a boring chant not long after this match starts, which I totally agree with – Shawn Stasiak was a fucking boring wrestler. The best part of this was Kurt basically stopping the match to get on the mic outside and berate the crowd, an instant recipe for heel heat. Match was nothing, but for historical purposes, this is the one that stands out the most on this show. Had Triple H not had Rikishi run over Stone Cold, that Triple Threat main event would have been one hell of a battle. I just want to vent real quick and deliver a hearty “Fuck you!” to WWE for the blatant bait-and-switch they pulled with that. That’s no way to treat your audience.

2000

Kurt Angle (c) vs. Undertaker’s Pants, WWF Championship

Could it be? Our Olympic Hero makes the list for the second straight show? Oh, it’s true! You don’t need me to tell you how awesome Kurt Angle is, but after just one full year on TV, it’s scary how good he already was. Hell, he was the WWF champion! This was billed as Undertaker’s 10th anniversary, but he wore the most RIDICULOUS pants I think I’ve ever seen. They were either snakeskin leather or something he ran over on the way to the show. I could barely concentrate on the match without being fixated on those ugly pants. How Kurt Angle was able to keep a straight face throughout this bout, I’ll never know. But it was a pretty good match with an incredibly clever finish. You see, Kurt has a brother named Eric who, from a certain distance, looks very much like his sibling. They pull the ‘ol switcheroo at one point and Undertaker delivers a Last Ride Powerbomb on who we THINK is Kurt before going for the cover. Referee Earl Hebner counts two before halting his count and the crowd has no idea what’s going on. Some people see Earl and automatically think “screwjob” all over again. But Earl saw Eric’s face and was smart enough to realize you can’t count a fall on someone if they aren’t even in the match. Kurt sneaks up behind Undertaker and rolls him up for the pin before high-tailing it out of the arena in hilarious fashion. Speaking of fashion, let us not speak of those pants ever again.

2001

Team WWF (The Rock, Chris Jericho, The Undertaker, Kane, and The Big Show)
vs.
The Alliance (Steve Austin, Rob Van Dam, Kurt Angle, Booker T, and Shane McMahon)

There is something inherently wrong with the parting image of what began as a WWF vs. WCW “war” being The Rock pinning Steve Austin. So goes the famously botched “invasion” of 2001, which culminated in this match at Survivor Series where the losing group would die off forever. Kurt Angle, who had defected to The Alliance weeks earlier, was a mole all along as he assisted Team WWF to victory. Best match on the show, but leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I think of what might have been. Sigh.

2002

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Big Show, WWE Championship

The very first “Elimination Chamber” match was on this show and was great for two reasons: (1) Shawn Michaels got one last run with the title, and (2) RVD nearly killed Triple H with a Frog Splash. Of course, RVD was eating burgers at WWE’s Times Square restaurant the following month during the next PPV, so maybe it wasn’t so great for him, but I digress. This right here was my favorite match. It was mostly comprised of Brock Lesnar (still a heel, mind you) tossing the 500-pound Big Show all over the ring at will and getting cheered at MSG like the biggest babyface since Hulk Hogan. He actually delivered a German Suplex and a Belly-to-Belly OVERHEAD Suplex to Big Show. Take a moment and let that sink in. This was also the first time Lesnar ever hoisted up Big Show to deliver his signature F5 slam, which was one of those moments where time seemed to stand still. It should still be on every WWE highlight reel for the next 50 years. If he would have pinned Show right there, it would have been the perfect finish. Of course, they had to go and fuck it up by having Paul Heyman turn on Brock and align with Big Show, who goes down as the man to hand Lesnar his very first defeat. Dumb finish aside, it wasn’t very long, but this was fantastic stuff.

2003

Team Bischoff (Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, and Mark Henry)
vs.
Team Austin (HBK, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley)

This won’t be the only time in this list where I talk about how great Shawn Michaels was at wrestling psychology. That was on full display here, and as good as many of the other players in this match were, none were better than Michaels. The stipulation was that if Steve Austin’s team lost the match, he would leave WWE. So when it all came down to HBK, with Michaels wearing one of his best crimson masks, it was mesmerizing how he had the fans hanging on his every move. In the end, he could not overcome the odds (take notes Mr. Cena) and as a result, Steve Austin was forced to leave WWE forever! I guess forever in WWE time is 4 months since he was back as a referee at WrestleMania. This may have been the last, truly great Survivor Series elimination match.

2004

Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Christian, Intercontinental Title

Here are two of the most under-utilized performers in WWE history. They went out there and had the best match on the show. What a surprise. They even gave them some decent time as this match went about 13 minutes or so. Keep that in mind when you consider they gave an Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match almost 16 minutes on the same show.

2005

Triple H vs. Ric Flair, Last Man Standing

This is perhaps the best battle I’ve seen these two men have. The Greensboro match on Raw had more emotion, but this was simply a bloodbath. In fact, I’m pretty sure Ric Flair lost all of the blood in his body, which makes it all the more remarkable that he was able to function when this was over. Flair survived three Pedigrees, but the sledgehammer was too much and the King of Kings reigned supreme. You don’t see matches like this in WWE anymore, so if you’re a newer fan or simply a fan of the old school, check this out.

2006

Mr. Kennedy vs. The Undertaker, First Blood Match

The amount of blood here pales in comparison (see what I did there) to how much we saw the year prior, but nothing compares to the absolutely SICK chairshot delivered by Undertaker to Kennedy after the match to get his heat back. It was difficult to watch back then, let alone now with everyone on concussion-watch 24/7. Ironically, as I write this, Ken Anderson is at home recovering from a severe concussion caused by an errant chairshot to the back of the head.

2007

Randy Orton (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, WWE Championship

This was a one-man show starring Shawn Michaels. I suppose I’m not giving sufficient credit to Orton here, but the psychology in this one was masterful and it’s all because of HBK. Per the rules of the match, Michaels was not allowed to use his signature Superkick, yet he still went out there and had the match of the night. He took us on an emotional rollercoaster with his mannerisms, his pained facial expressions, the near falls, everything was done to perfection. There’s a reason Michaels himself has stated that this is one of his favorite matches of his entire career, and it’s a prime example of why the wrestling ring is a darker place for no longer having him in it.

2008

Team HBK (Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme and The Great Khali)
vs.
Team JBL (John “Bradshaw” Layfield, Kane, MVP, John Morrison and The Miz)

Nothing overly special about this match, but from top to bottom, it was a really well-worked Survivors match. If you’re into shock value, you probably liked Edge winning the WWE Title in the Triple Threat with Kozlov (really) and Triple H. If you’re a loyal resident of the CeNation, you likely enjoyed John Cena’s return title victory over Chris Jericho. Each irritated me in their own way, so they basically negated one another.

2009

John Cena (c) v. Shawn Michaels v. Triple H, WWE Championship

Shameful. In a word, that describes this match. Not the match itself, which was actually really good, but the buildup to it. You may recall it involved a little, green midget and a shitload of comedy. Yes, because what better way to promote your PPV main event with three of your biggest stars than with JOKES. Sure enough, this show was such box office poison, it nearly resulted in the end of the Survivor Series name altogether. Best moment was easily HBK superkicking Triple H out of the ring at the very start, which caught pretty much everyone off guard. From there, it was your standard WWE Triple Threat formula, which is more like condensing three mini-matches into one, but what we did see was great stuff.

EPILOGUE…

I must confess, after about Survivor Series 2002, my brain began to malfunction while trying to come up with worthy matches from the remaining 7 shows. For many of them, YouTube was a great refresher for me, but really, it’s indicative of a larger problem. For one thing, Survivor Series as a pay-per-view has lost much of its luster from the days in which it was conceived. The elimination tag bouts were something unique and became an annual tradition that people would look forward to. Now, WWE might toss one out there for nostalgia like they’re doing again this year, but the show has essentially become just another last minute, haphazardly-assembled PPV offering. Add to that, we’ve already seen multi-man elimination tag bouts at Summerslam and Bragging Rights this year. Secondly, there are so many hours of weekly WWE programming on TV these days that shows like Survivor Series, by design, cannot possibly mean as much as they once did. It’s simply the nature of the business now. When people think of the traditional “Big Four PPV’s”, if you had to pick one show that truly did not belong anymore, this would be the one. I’m happy Vince McMahon changed his mind and decided to stick with the Survivor Series moniker, for its rich history if nothing else, but when I take a step back, I can fully understand why he would have made the decision to axe it. When he said this show was obsolete, in many ways, he was right.

So what do you think of this list? What are YOUR favorite Survivor Series matches and moments? Let your voices be heard in the comments section below!

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