Before becoming a WWE champion and making history as one half of the first African American women to main event WrestleMania, Bianca Belair battled inner demons that nearly derailed her athletic career.
In a candid conversation with Stephanie McMahon on her podcast “Stephanie’s Places,” Belair revealed the powerful mantra from her father that continues to guide her through life’s challenges: “It’s okay to be nervous, just don’t be scared.”
A Father’s Wisdom
This distinction between nervousness and fear has been crucial for Belair, who admits she still gets nervous before every performance, whether it’s WrestleMania or a routine live event.
“My daddy helped me with that. He’s the one that always told me it’s okay to be nervous cuz it means you care and when you stop being nervous, that means you don’t care, and it’s time to move on, to find something else that you’re passionate about,” Belair explained.
The Dark Side of Perfectionism
Behind the confidence Belair exudes as “the EST of WWE” lies a deeply personal story of mental health struggles, particularly during her years as a competitive track athlete.
“I was my own worst enemy,” she admitted, describing how her perfectionism and obsession with success became destructive.
“I was so obsessed with being the best, I was so obsessed with my dream and I felt like if I didn’t do everything that I could do, then it was my fault,” Belair said. This mindset led her down a dangerous path.
“I developed eating disorders and I hid it from my coaches, I hid it from my parents, but I ran faster, which is crazy, and I got a scholarship and I went to college, but then it caught up with me and I got injured and I know for sure it was because I was not healthy.”
Identity Crisis and Depression
Belair’s college years brought additional challenges as she struggled with her identity being tied exclusively to her athletic performance.
“My identity was track, my identity was my performance. If I didn’t perform well, I felt like, well, nobody wants to be friends with the lame girl who doesn’t perform very well.”
The pressure mounted as she worried about losing her scholarship and facing the embarrassment of returning home without achieving her dreams.
These pressures led to depression, and eventually, Belair began taking medication without her parents’ knowledge. When she decided to stop the medication abruptly—without medical supervision—her mental health deteriorated dramatically.
“I just felt like I was trying to swim back to the top, and I had like a weight on my ankle and I’m like, I don’t know what’s going on,” she recalled of that dark period.
The Intervention
It was her coach at Texas A&M who recognized Belair’s struggle and intervened.
“You’re not getting on that track until you get yourself together,” he told her, prioritizing her wellbeing over her athletic contributions.
“I care about you more as a person than an athlete,” he said, insisting she get help.
This intervention proved pivotal. Belair’s parents came to support her, and she made the difficult decision to take time away from track.
“At one point I was like, I’m finished. I don’t want to run anymore because I need to get myself together,” she said. However, after focusing on her mental health, she realized her passion remained.
“That burning love is still there, I love track, I miss it, I wanna finish this off.”
The Power of Daily Affirmations
When Belair returned to the sport at the University of Tennessee, two coaches played transformative roles in her recovery. First, Heather Van Norman gave her a chance despite her competitive gap, allowing her to train for a year before rejoining the team. Then, coach Sharon Couch implemented a powerful daily practice.
“Every morning I want you to send me three affirmations,” Couch instructed, requiring Belair to start each day with positive self-talk.
“It was just something about being intentional about when you first wake up and just starting your day off positive, and having somebody that’s investing in you and that cares,” Belair explained.
Finding Peace and Purpose
The combination of mental health support and athletic guidance allowed Belair to finish her college career stronger than ever.
“I PR’D. I ran faster than I’ve ever ran before,” she said, referring to achieving her personal record. Though her childhood dream of becoming an Olympic track athlete didn’t materialize, Belair found peace with her journey.
“I said, I gave everything that I had, and I grew from this. And that’s what this should be about. If you grew from it, that’s a better life lesson than winning the 100-meter hurdles.”
Imposter Syndrome and WWE Success
This perspective shift—valuing growth over achievement—has served Belair well in her WWE career, though she admits to still battling imposter syndrome at times.
“I didn’t come from this business,” she explained, describing how she felt out of place among lifelong wrestling fans who had dreamed of WWE careers since childhood.
“When I was at the WrestleManias and main eventing, I’m like, am I supposed to be here? But no, I’ve worked for this. I do deserve this because I’ve earned it.”
Pivoting vs. Giving Up
Now at the top of WWE, Belair emphasizes the importance of understanding the difference between giving up and pivoting.
“I think there’s an importance of knowing the difference between giving up and pivoting, and always moving,” she advised.
“Whatever is for you will find you, and sometimes when you’re trying so hard… and it just feels like, why is this so hard? Why is this so complicated?… Sometimes it’s because it’s time to pivot. Because when what’s for you finds you, it becomes so easy.”
This wisdom extends to her approach to failure and vulnerability.
“Don’t be afraid to try. Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself. We’re on live TV every week, it might be a possibility, you might go out there and embarrass yourself… But you gotta be okay with it.”
A Journey of Resilience
For athletes, performers, and anyone facing mental health challenges, Belair’s journey offers valuable insights about resilience, self-acceptance, and the courage to seek help. Her story demonstrates that even at the highest levels of achievement, mental health struggles are common—and overcoming them often requires both personal determination and the support of others who recognize when something isn’t right.
As Belair prepares for her next WrestleMania appearance, she carries her father’s wisdom with her: It’s okay to be nervous—it means you care. Just don’t be scared.